In school and family:

In the last centuries it was considered that the intelligent child was the one who skillfully mastered all the subjects of the academic course and took the intellectual quotient (IQ) of the intelligence tests as a reference to frame it.

But in the last decades this conception has been left behind, since to achieve success or happiness, it has been demonstrated that not only academic intelligence counts, but also to understand emotions, to know how to handle them correctly and not let ourselves be guided by passions. exalted or impulses.

What is emotional intelligence (EI)?

It is the ability of people where reasoning and emotions are united, the ability to attend and perceive feelings accurately. This makes it easier to assimilate and effectively understand emotional information, modify our mood and think more intelligently. Emotional intelligence is NOT a feature of personality or the “character” of the person, EI is a skill that can be used with oneself (personal competence) and with others (social competence).

In addition, it is composed of 4 elements:

1º. Perception and emotional expression: consciously recognize our emotions, recognize what we are feeling and get a name for these emotions.
2º. Emotional facilitation: the ability to create feelings that help thinking.
3º. Emotional understanding: merge what we feel into our thinking and take into account the complexity of emotional changes.
4th Emotional regulation: guide and effectively manage negative and positive emotions. It is also important to attend and analyze the NO verbal communication, which includes gestures (for example, a grimace of anger), signs and body postures (eg retracted back when you are not interested in the subject).

Recent research has shown that the lack of intelligent emotional skills affects students inside and outside the classroom. The teaching of EI has become an essential task in the educational context, which must be added to traditional teachings. Therefore, it is essential to PRACTICE and EXERCISE emotional skills through the implementation of IE programs (for example, “the SEL program”) and adapt them to the natural repertoire of the person’s behaviors. As educators, it is important that they REINFORCE and VALUATE this ability at school.

The areas to work with children at school are: Self-awareness: through images, videos or narratives help identify emotions, distinguish them from others and evaluate the intensity of them. Self-regulation: teach them to manage their moods, impulses and resources. It is important to reflect with students and not make judgments, such as if that feeling is appropriate or undesirable, good or bad. Motivation: talk to know what they really want and support them with optimism in achieving their goals. Work tolerance to frustration. Empathy: you can use the strategy of << Role-playing >> for students to represent the role or role of a partner or any other person in a certain circumstance, and thus teach them to put themselves in the place of the other .


It is important that parents are also trained in the handling of emotional skills, as in doing so their children will follow their example. You can follow these rules: Be aware of your own feelings and that of your children. Locate the emotions, observe and analyze the context, the intensity of them.

Show empathy and understand your children’s points of view. Listen actively to what your children communicate, be kind and understanding. Face in a positive way the emotional and behavioral impulses of your children and regulate them permanently. Try to be constant in regulation, be patient and control your own impulses for their benefit. Together with your children, draw an “onboard plan” with positive objectives and different projects that contain real alternatives to achieve them. Use family gifts and positive social skills when managing relationships with them. Teach them to have a positive attitude to life, and to get up after falling!

To expand more information on the subject: Book: “Emotional intelligence” by Daniel Goleman. Article: “Emotional intelligence in education” by Pablo Fernández Berrocal and Desiree Ruiz Aranda.

Alba Prieto Moreno.

Psychology Area-Teacher At Home